even as understanding eludes thee...
idealism becomes the new stupidity
yes, go here, and read,
he's becoming the preacher
the bible of psychology in his hand
telling me of the hellfire of my feeling ways
prophesying that I will smell brimstone
that being this feeler will condemn me
God is logic. Logic is God.
and i am begging forgiveness
have mercy on me,
Do you value justice higher than mercy?
would it sound better if i screamed
kneeled at the feet of a black robed judge
screaming, "have justice on me! have justice on me!"
tell me, when you have done wrong
when you do one moment of evil
but have a lifetime of good in you
tell me then that justice is better
true justice is extinction, i have found
true mercy is true survival for us all
so begging, i kneel,
forgive me, for i have sinned and broken your law
i have not reasoned.
i have not analyzed.
i have
tasted
touched
nuzzled
loved
trusted
created
wondered
accepted
needed
wanted
felt...i have felt
forgive me if i put the world in terms of myself
because it was so big i could not swallow it whole as you do
but instead, i had to grow into it.
forgive me, i did not keep my eye on you
i failed to follow the breadcrumb trail
of math, science, psychology, sociology
that you left to me
forgive me that i prayed to another God
and believed without reason
that there would be mercy and sentience there
i slept an uneasy sleep
all night long i wept and i could not decide
what it was that i wept for
and in the morning, to the relief of a dry pillow
i awoke and walked hollow among the ghosts
of what used to be a vivid, beautiful world
but i have been typed and told all about myself
and if all i am is a fool, crossed eyed and looking inward
then if i am told everything about myself
what do i do now in life?
watch me become tangled, o jungian spider
in your letters,
your i's, e's, t's, f's
guilty each moment for fulfilling the divination
that men with labcoats
causing pain in rats and human alike
have set down before me
every feeling, even guilt itself, is guilty
it is a weakness to give into what i've been told i am
tell me what your observations and conclusions tell you
let me know that this pain was purposeful
that when you dried, hollowed, skinned, and mounted me
that it was useful to you
i am the color blue
lost in your black, white, and grey world
if i am lesser human being, then forgive me
i will sulk away from your thinking and feel
and go to bed, a broken thing that cannot be fixed
broken for you and for many
who must study these things for knowledge knowledge knowledge
saying that emotions are negliable and obfuscate the facts
and do these things in numbers and clear consequence
but there comes an accounting for all costs, even human ones
and you'll find in the balance of it all
that there was neither justice nor mercy
in all that you did
there will be a consequence for your scientific brutality
and on that day those of us who felt
and suffered, and anguished under you ask:
Do you value justice higher than mercy?
lovely poem.. will analyse when i have time.. definately not written by me.. not so talented.. haha
source: http://offcentre.net/sage/poetry.html
